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edna

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July 14th, 2007

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edna
Geez

I just re-read some of my old entries...

I was a bit of a whiny bitch wasn't I?

lol

not as much to whinge about now, I will tell you all later!

December 17th, 2006

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edna
updating my life since i last updated, a lot has happened!

i bought a new car, my Camry died again, and my parents and i decided to buy a new car, rather than pay out all this money just to keep an old one going... so i'm now the owner of a lovely little 1999 Mazda 323 protege! its champagne coloured and a manual and i love it!

i'm also slightly stuck in bed at the moment which sucks, my spondylolisthesis (slipped vertebae) has flared up something chronic, leaving me hobbling from one end of the house to the other on a walking stick when i really need to walk somewhere. i've finally had a little bit of relief today and while it still hurts, i am able to walk without the walking stick...

i have to go see the specialist on wednesday, and get his verdict on what he wants to do, if he wants to operate or not... though i do think ill be leaving lonestar for at least the time being, which sucks since the past 16 months there have been such a blast and i've made so many friends there its amazing, i will miss it so much!

it will be good though to get away from andrew, the lovely slutty drug d**ked fag thief of lonestar. he's fucked around with my feelings so much, and i've finally gotten jack of it after i got into trouble for not telling him when other friends of mine from lonestar who don't like him, came to me and voiced their feelings about him, and i kept it secret i didn't tell andrew as i wasn't going to betray my other friends confidences. but he didn't see it that way and tried to start a fight. so i just ignored him.

anywho thats about all for now, if i have to have an operation ill be sure to let you all know so you can come and visit me and lavish me with sympathy and flowers! lol

love to all chat later!

November 30th, 2006

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edna
this is actually quite true!









October 25th, 2006

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edna
always the friend, never the boyfriend

why must you like someone so much when their feelings are directed at someone completely different....



i feel like i'm reliving this part of last year all over again, and i don't want to go through it again, but i can't seem to stop it no matter how much i try!

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i want to say no so much...

but then he might not like me

October 9th, 2006

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I'm sick. It sucks.

Apart from that life is all good. I'm in the money at the moment from having worked a 83 hour fortnight which, though tiring pays off on pay day (no pun intended lol) but its all good since i'm saving up for a new iPod as my old one is dying and all scratched and old... lol

i find it rather amusing the 8 gig nano and 30 gig iPod normal are the same price....

its my first day off in two weeks, and i have lots of news and am quite enjoying relaxing about the house doing nothing, apart from the random intervals of coughing fits, but you get that....

Oxford Street was pure BRILLIANCE! i had so much fun just being out of penrith and around other gay people and not having to care what other people thought or how i acted. i didn't even hook up, yet it was the most fun i had in ages! i cannot wait to go again!

Andrew is the new gay guy from work who i am/was crushing on at the moment. He is 18 and really nice and a massive flirt and really fun and even if i'm in a bad mood he is so nice back even when i'm yelling at him he is still nice that i feel so guilty for taking my shit out on him, even if its partly caused by him.

last weekend was a very bad weekend, i went to panthers with andrew after work, and it was all good,i was driving cos i had to go home and work the next day, and i was gonna drive him home, and then i was gonna pick him up the next morning as we both started work at the same time. so it was all going nice, 2am comes and i'm like, i'm tired lets go, and he wasn't ready to go yet, but was like you go and i'll pick you up in the morning, and i was like ok then if your sure, and he was so i left.

the next morning, i'm driving down to kingswood to pick him up, i'm about halfway there when i get a phonecall. its andrew and he is just awake, i'm like get ready, and i'll see you in about 15.

i get to his house and find him still half drunk/hungover and that he didn't get home till 630 am and had to start work at 12! and he picked up some random guy (who was a virgin) at panthers and took him home and fucked him, then asked me on the spot if i could drop this guy at the station so i wasn't happy jan and was a bitch all day to him, which made me feel worse cos he was just nice the whole time no matter how mean i was. we talked after work and "sorted" it out and it was semi good.

until last wednesday he came in for dinner with a family friend, and i just cracked and couldn't talk to him, i knew he had started patching things up with his ex, and i wanted so hard to be happy for him and to go up and chat to him and be happy for him, but i just couldn't, then i got really cut and down and was real down on myself like, i like him, but why would he want someone like me anyway, he's the one with the fun personality and the good body etc and i'm just the "fat" one... i know its stupid, but its how i felt. anyway i finished work and went home and slept on it and thought abut it th next day and have thus decided to try to be happy and take things as they come, and don't want to let my feelings for andrew get in the way of a good friendship...

though it was very hard yesterday, he met quinton, the "straight" flamboyant singing shorty from the kitchen, and was flirting like crazy, but i managed to go well enough until about 9 oclock when the reality of how understaffed we were at work and how much of a shitfight the restaurant was hit home, and i just cracked and yeah wasn't very happy, plus i was feeling sicker by the hour, but after a little shitfight and storming off from andrew who finished before me, i walked outside to steal a drag of a smoke only to find he just finished and i just went meh and he hugged me and it made it a bit better....

and thats the end of my story...

love to all!



ps i just decided i'm going on holidays sometime soon, don't know where or when, just know that i am... lol

August 29th, 2006

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edna
My manager at work is a bitch.

I somehow managed to aggravate my slipped vertebrae on saturday night while asleep and awoke to a slight pain on sunday when i got up to go to work. OK, i thought, i'll be able to handle this it only hurts a little bit. Upon starting my work the pain started getting worse, and worse, and worse again. At 1230 i told my manager that i was unable to work the night shift i had and was giving her more then the 3 hours notice needed to call in sick, so she could replace the shift, 4-930 an easy shift. Upon my telling her this she turned around and said, What, you think we roster people on willynilly? We need you on tonight too bad. I then proceeded to message everyone that was not rostered on that night at my own cost, something the manager should have done, only she was too busy out the front smoking out her lungs with the new bar guy! When i recieved no reply from my many messages, i thought, screw it i'm leaving at 3o'clock when my day shift ended, and will just bring in a doctors cert tomorrow. And so i did, i did my end of shift paperwork, walked outside, got into my car and drove home, and i didn't get any phone calls at all from work, and they have my mobile and home numbers!

fast forward to yesterday arvo

i went to my doctors, got a certificate and a referral for a checkup xray to monitor my back, and went into work to drop the certificate off. the same manager was on. i took the certificate into the office and said this is for yesterday and she was like, why didn't you tell anyone you were leaving and i was like i told you at 1230, and she was like we were a server down last night because of you. (LIE: i found out a few minutes later another server stayed back for a night shift in my place, so they had the same amount to begin with!) i was just like whatever and walked out

fast forward to today after being to physio and stuff, in pain from physio etc

phone call hi wade its *manager* how are you can you work tonight
me: nah sorry i can't-
*manager* ok bye *hangs up*

so now i don't care, i'm calling in sick tomorrow, i need the time off but was gonna force it and go to work, but now i just don't care!

</rant>

August 28th, 2006

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PS Oxford Street Shindig is the 22nd of September!

August 27th, 2006

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i'm feeling very slow at the moment, apart from having the loveliest of colds, and an incredibly sore back caused by God-knows-what i am trailing behind my gay friends in terms of outedness and love life!

The whole telling parents thing isn't too bad, becuase i know it will happen when i'm truly ready, but i do hate the sneaking around and the lieing to various relatives when they ask if i have a girlfriend, it does get old after a while! And the whole thing that happens whenever my parents meet one of my close female friends. (you so like her don't you!) and i'm like no, just friends, but it sucks after the ten millionth time of having it happen.

This is really starting to sound like a whiny fags entry but i really don't care at the moment, i'm tired and sick and want a boyfriend to hug me and make me feel better! lol

Speaking of boyfriends, one of my gayfriends from work brought his newest boy into work for everyone to meet the other day, it kinda sucked, it brought home that i am drastically single while someone who is a user, drunken gambler spendthrift can have one simply because he has a better body than i, his boyfriend is cute too and seems like a nice guy and though i'm happy for them both i realised i still slightly liked the guy i worked with, even though he tried to use me for signing me into panthers while i was still at work and not even going to panthers, and used me to drive him home after he had gotten drunk and tried to gamble away all his money even though he owed it to his mum...

Life is just suckier than normal when your sick and tired and don't have anyone to put up with your high maintenance-ness

love to all

August 21st, 2006

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i've finally decided penriths club scene is shite, and has nothing to offer me in the way of hot boys other than eye candy, and while thats all well and good, everynow and then a little bit more would be nice! lol

this has come after going to bloc on friday night with two of my lovely and hot faghags (lol) only to have them dance with/make out with numerous hot young boys, while i got left being the hand bag holder for the night, and i couldn't leave cos i had no car and had been drinking and was waiting on a lift.

i have thus decided it is time for me to finally venture into the intimidating world of oxford street, i'm going with another one of my gay friends from work, he's a little older than i am, and more experienced in the scene so it won't be too bad, hopefully i will meet someone to sweep me off my feet! lol

if anyone would like to tag along to check out sydney's gay scene, you are more than welcome to join us, the more the merrier! :D:D

until next time

xoxo

♥♥
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